Formal Letter
Subject: Self introduction
Dear Prof Brad,
My name is Loh Wan Xin Zann from your effective communication class and my purpose of writing this letter is to allow you to know me better. I recently graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a Diploma in Green Building and Sustainability. To be frank, I did not have much interest in engineering during my first two years of study in the course as I was more inclined to learning business. My interest in engineering developed when I was attached to a facilities management company during my internship where I was exposed to do Green Mark certification for school buildings which is why I decided to pursue my studies in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services) in SIT. Aside from academic interests, I utilize my free time by attending street jazz dance classes as it has always been my hobby since young and it helps me to release my stress by sweating it out.
A communication strength I believe that I possess would be my ability to communicate and interact well with not only my group mates but with professionals as well. During my internship, I often had to give presentations about the green mark certification to principals and teachers of the school my company has collaborated with and I often had to converse with contractors as well. This has allowed me to strengthen my confidence level during presentations.
In terms of weakness in communication, I often have some difficulties expressing myself in words, especially in report writing. I spend too much time thinking of what to write in a report because I am unsure whether my content is sufficient.
By the end of this module, I hope I can further enhance my
public speaking skills and present even more confidently than before as well as
to write a report confidently with adequate and precise information.
Best regards,
Zann
Revised as of 9/11/2020 22:46
Read: Valencia, Joel & Wei Ying
Thanks for sharing about your internship experience. Just wondering, which company were you attached to? The content is fulfilled, the organization of the letter is there and I feel that there are some grammar mistake in the language use that can be improved.
ReplyDeleteHi Carely,
DeleteI was attached to CPG Facilities Management previously. Thank you for the comments, I have made some amendments to my post.
Best regards,
Zann
Hi Zann,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing more about yourself!
For your content, it fulfilled most of the points for the assignment except for the part which is to write something that differentiates you from others. Also, I would elaborate more on the goals of this module; why you chose these goals, to complete the letter.
Regarding the organization, your letter is clear and concise with further details.
Hi Wei ying,
DeleteThank you for your comments! I will make the necessary changes :)
Best regards,
Zann
Dear Zann,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear concise letter. It's good to learn about your background. You write, for example, that you've been dancing since young. (Ballet? Hip hop? What?) I agree that it's very improtant for each of us to have a physical outlet for ourselves since intellectual pursuits can be so draining.
Your work with Green Mark seems to have left a lasting impression. Just take note that since that is the name of a certification, you need to use caps. Also, there's an issue with the verb tense in this sentence: I do not have much interest in engineering during my first two years of study in the course as I was more inclined to learning business.
I look forward to facilitating your growth in terms of presentation skills. As a first step, I'd suggest you can feeln free to speak up more when I ask questions in class :)
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Prof,
DeleteThank you for the comments. I have made the necessary changes and included the missing details.
Best regards,
Zann
Dear Zann,
ReplyDeleteIt was nice to read the introductory letter about yourself!
I could see that you covered most of the points needed for the content, but felt that you could emphasise on how you differ from others. I also felt that you could have shared more about how your internship experience changed your perspective of engineering. Was it a one-off experience which influenced your decision, or was it a gradual change in direction?
I was pleasantly surprised to have read that you attend dance classes because I could never get the hang of it with my two left feet! Maybe you can teach me some moves someday.
The letter was well organised and so was the language used. It has a nice flow to it and I could pore through it with no issue.
Warmest regards,
Valencia Tan
Hi Valencia,
DeleteThank you for your comments. It was a gradual change during my Internship experience that made me change my perspective of engineering as it was a 4.5 months journey. I have made some changes accordingly as well.
Best regards,
Zann
Dear Zann,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this informative letter of yourself. It definitely allowed me to get to know you better.
The organisation of the letter was done well as there is a good structure to it and the flow was great. Content wise, I feel that you managed to include the things that are required. However, there are some issues for language use.
There is a tense issue in the sentence "To be frank, I do not have much interest in engineering during my first two years of study in the course as I was more inclined to learning business". This was something that already happened and therefore writing it in past tense would be more appropriate. Secondly, the sentence which starts off "A communication strength I believe that I possess in would be my ability" I personally feel have an issue to it. The 'in' after 'possess' is not required in this sentence.
Overall, this letter allowed me to get to know you slightly better and I enjoyed reading it. Looking forward to get to know you better in the weeks ahead.
Regards,
Joel
Hi Joel,
DeleteThank you for your comments. I have made the necessary changes :)
Best regards,
Zann